Yo, caught up in the side chick mess and wondering “How the heck did I get here?” You ain’t alone in feeling like the “other woman” or the “mistress“. Props to you for seeing the light and deciding it’s time to bounce.
Straight up: cut ’em off, know your worth, and aim higher. No more playing second. This is all about self-love, laying down boundaries, and moving on to something way better. Time to own that main character energy.
I get it, stepping out of the side chick shadow is tough. But you got this. Let’s break it down with some real talk on how to leave that side-chick label behind and level up your life.
What it’s like to be a side chick?
In short, being a side chick is just being in a love relationship with a man with other commitments. He is with someone else in a serious relationship. Being in a relationship with a man who has a —girlfriend, long-term partner, or wife—makes you the side chick.
Let’s use a burger and fries lunch as an example of this interpersonal dynamic. Fries are a side dish, whereas the burger is the main course. The side dish cannot be substituted for the main course, even if it gives the meal an additional kick.
The same is true in a relationship with a side girl. The thing to remember while playing the side chick role in someone’s life is that even though you might give him a sense of life again and enthusiasm he never knew he had, you’ll never be the main attraction in his life.
The term “side chick” is a code word for “the other woman.” You’d see that this relationship may develop into a satisfying, healthy one if you confront the psychological fallout from being the other woman. You’ll constantly be left wanting more.
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Signs you are his side chick
It’s not an easy task to identify you are the side chick to your boyfriend. But I think I can give you some signs that will help you understand his behaviour and seriousness in the relationship:
- He isn’t always available
During the weekends, holidays, and special events, he is frequently unavailable. There is a lack of commitment to upcoming engagements and a lack of notice when making plans.
- Secretive Behaviour
He doesn’t introduce you to his family, friends, or other important individuals in his life.
He is reluctant or apprehensive to divulge information about his personal life, including his residence or place of employment.
- Doesn’t like to show affection publicly
He stays away from acknowledging your connection on social media or making any public shows of affection. When you are out in public together, there are no obvious clues that you are a couple.
- Lack of Emotional Bonding
He might come out as aloof or guarded, making the emotional relationship appear one-sided.
The topics of conversation are usually superficial, and there is little substance to your exchanges.
- Late Night Encounters
Most of your meetings take place late at night, and he could try to avoid spending a lot of time with you during the day. He is giving other duties priority during regular social hours.
- He has a long list of excuses
He usually offers excuses for his behaviour or whereabouts. His justifications for his unavailability or distance could come off as erratic or unbelievable.
- No Future Plans
He doesn’t like to discuss anything about the future with you being in his relationship. He can say he wants to keep things lighthearted without talking about a more sombre future.
It’s critical to keep in mind that if you are aware of these indicators, you should be in a relationship where you are respected and loved.
Also Read, Why Is My Boyfriend Being Mean All Of A Sudden | 13 Odd Reasons
8 Ways To Walk From A Side-Chick Relationship
You already know the definition of “side chick” in a relationship and how to spot a side piece in a relationship. However, there’s still one crucial issue that has to be resolved: how can you tell him you’re over being the side chick?
Over time, being a side lady for males may become really toxic. You don’t want to battle shame and low self-esteem, do you? The most crucial connection is the one you have with yourself. You should go through the eight strategies to stop a side-chick relationship for your well-being.
It’s high time you started handling things yourself. Now let’s tackle the topic of the moment: how to walk away from being a side chick?
1. Do you feel comfortable playing the role of the “other woman”?
I’m not here to criticize your decisions—rather, I’m here to make sure you know what they mean. This twisted relationship may be emotionally taxing if you start to see the differences between a side chick and the main lead and witness firsthand how your boyfriend treats the two differently.
Being a side girl is not something you should do since it will almost certainly get you into trouble. Either a dramatic breakup will engulf you, or you will get connected. You do you if you’re into hookups, flings, or partnerships with no conditions. But first, take a seat and weigh the advantages and disadvantages of each option. Recognize the ramifications and make a wise choice.
2. Tell him how you feel being a side chick
How do you let him know you’re over being the side chick? Be frank and precise. Talking to the person who originally placed you in this situation is essential if you want to escape being a side girl. Tell him exactly what you want in a clear-cut and direct conversation.
Listen to him out as well, but don’t take him at his word. A cheater must be confronted with evidence and calm composure. I suggest that you stay in the conversation and make a decision about how you want things to go.
3. Break Up Once and for all
No relapses or reverting to previous behaviours. One of my friends tends to have on-again, off-again relationships, which are the worst. Get rid of him by deleting your interactions, blocking him on social media, and other means. Getting involved in the destructive maelstrom of an intermittent relationship with a side woman is undoubtedly one of the things you should avoid doing after a breakup.
Do Not Entertain Him, no matter how many tearful tales he brings up. Remember why you broke up whenever you found yourself reaching out to him again. Being a side girl is something you will leave behind and never return to.
4. Take Time to Get over him
It’s not easy to forget someone you were serious with. It takes time. So take your time to process the end of this relationship.
To break free from the role of the side chick, you must own your role in it as well as accept the truth of your circumstances. Don’t try to deny what took place. Acknowledge responsibility where it is due, acknowledge the difficult period that has gone by, and express regret for the relationship—since it was one that you valued.
Permit yourself to experience all of your feelings, including regret, sadness, anguish, and fury. Speak with a close friend or relative; if necessary, get professional assistance.
5. Acceptance and Closure!
Without experiencing a feeling of closure, nobody can recover. It might be too much to forgive him, but stop allowing him to rule you. It takes a lot of work and time to heal from being a side girl for males, but I’ve seen enough people go through it to know you will come out stronger. Have trust!
Keep in mind that after you’ve decided to stop being a side chick, you don’t need “answers” from the other person to achieve closure. The majority of the time, it’s this search for solutions that impedes our progress.
It’s unlikely that whatever he says would ease your concerns about the circumstances. When seeking closure, focus within rather than outside.
Also Read, 7 Reasons Why Is My Boyfriend So Friendly With Other Females
6. Think over your attachment pattern
How to walk away from being a side chick can be done when you analyze your attachment pattern with your partner.
Analyzing my choices when a relationship ends is a wise habit of mine. Do I tend to engage in any particular patterns of self-defeating behaviour? Do I have to accept responsibility for anything? Why not take a seat and consider your options if you frequently act as a side chick for men, whether you realize it or not?
Being a side chick is something you can easily avoid once you start identifying your tendencies. This self-examination may also reveal any hidden triggers influencing your relationship decisions or reveal any unconscious struggles you may have with insecure attachment patterns. Finding these trouble spots is incredibly beneficial because it opens the door to recuperation and healing.
7. Be your own BFF
Now this is where I advise you to watch and listen to Miley Cyrus’s ” I can buy myself flowers” song. I mean come on girls, you just walked away from a toxic relationship. A relationship in which you were a second option to your boyfriend.
It’s usually unhealthy to date one man after the other. It’s a great idea to be single for a while, especially after ending a relationship. Enjoy yourself and your former relationships without any regrets. Just be yourself. Take some time for yourself, go out to supper by yourself, or even go on a single excursion.
Treat yourself to a mani-pedi and some shopping therapy. Have fun without a man at your side and be your own best friend. You won’t ever need to inquire how to break up with a sidekick again, I assure you.
8. Put Yourself Out Again
Return to the field once a period has passed.
There are lots of fish in the water, so don’t give up on trying again just because you caught some plastic waste on your first attempt. Just exercise caution this time around, as you don’t want to experience the agonizing process of ending a relationship with a sidekick once more.
There is a man out there who will value you highly, just like a precious jewel!
I’ll end this by assuring you that everything will work out. Being a strong woman, you are aware of when to give up. Take pleasure in your decision to end things, and try not to be too hard on yourself. Who will watch out for you if you don’t?
Also Read, Signs His Ex Is Jealous Of You
Conclusion| How To Walk Away From Being A Side Chick
It’s not easy to stop being a side chick, but it’s an essential step in rebuilding your confidence and leading a more satisfying life.
Through introspection, boundary-setting, self-love, support-seeking, and growth acceptance, you may go through this path with resilience and strength. Never forget that you deserve a relationship that values and celebrates the complete you.
Never let anyone dictate your respect and value. You are a precious gem girl!
